The immediate urge to use the toilet the second your husband goes in with a newspaper and his iPad
The fear associated with farting in yoga during happy baby pose
When you climb into bed and go to plug your phone in only to realise you moved your charger and you have to stumble through a darkened house looking for where you left it
The kind of eye contact you make with your partner when you’re trying to extract yourself from a boring conversation at a party
The anticipation of an event being better than the actual event.
The feeling of profound meaningfulness and existential bliss at the sight of a burrito
The feeling that you’ve watched the whole movie in the trailer
Anxiety around cooking for someone with extensive dietary requirements
A person who pronounces French words with a French accent, ie, ‘appertif’
The tension of the last chip in the bowl that everyone was too polite to eat
The tendency to insert random foreign words into every sentence to appear more cultured, ie. “see ya later, ciao!”
The dissonance of seeing a lamb the same day you’re having a lamb roast for dinner
The despair at craving ice-cream at the precise moment the supermarket closes for the night
When you’re chasing a rabbit through a wheat field while wearing an Akubra and gumboots, you notice a lizard sitting on a rock and have a creeping sense of apprehension
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