When Motherhood Splits You in Two

The wrestle between selfhood and motherhood

Image by teotea from Pixabay

“Another person has existed in her, and after their birth they will live within the jurisdiction of her consciousness.” Rachel Cusk

When Rachel Cusk detailed her entry into the world of parenting: (‘isolating, frequently boring, relentlessly demanding and exhausting’), people were calling for her child to be taken away.

“When she is with them she is not herself; when she is without them she is not herself,” Rachel Cusk

I devour books on motherhood, manuals, online forums with one urgent question: what is a mother?

“If I should have a daughter, instead of Mom, she’s gonna call me Point B, because that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me.” Sarah Kay

This morning as I lie in bed, the house is blanketed in silence, peace. Instead of writing, I’m scrolling through photos of Matilda on my phone. I surrender. ‘Me-time’ is overrated and before long she’ll be walking down her own path.

Writer. Aussie. New Mum. Tired. cherielee87@hotmail.com

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