The Sadness of the Almost-Friend

The fragility of friendship and the rarity of the good ones

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Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

Clare Rojas writes in The New York Times: “Among the largely unacknowledged truths of contemporary female life is that women’s foundational relationships are as likely to be with one another as they are with the romantic partners who, we’re told, are supposed to complete us.”

I moved interstate at a time when my relationship with my husband was getting serious. I was searching for girlfriends to help me through, starting from scratch. Each new friend felt like a date: would I see her again? Should I text? Did she like me? Is this going anywhere?

“Unlike my few youthful romances, which had mostly depleted me, my female friendships were replenishing, and their salubrious effect expanded into other layers of my life.” Clare Rojas

Tazia baked cookies and helped around the house and cuddled Matilda and in a flash, she was gone. It was bittersweet. I felt the loss deeply, like an ache.

“For many women, friends are our primary partners through life; they are the ones who move us into new homes, out of bad relationships, through births and illnesses. Even for women who do marry, this is true at the beginning of our adult lives, and at the end — after divorce or the death of a spouse.” Clare Rojas

My friendships here are starting to deepen as I rewrite my life again. It’s easy to grieve the friendships which were left behind or never eventuated.

Writer. Aussie. New Mum. Tired.

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